Best of "Shakespearean First Drafts"

I got into work this morning to a note from Bardfilm that he'd started a new game on Twitter that he called, "Shakespearean First Drafts".  As has become our new policy, here's a best-of post for posterity:

"We are all made of dream stuff."

"Hey look, it's Juliet up in the balcony. Hi, Juliet!"

"Brutus is a cool dude.  All these dudes, are cool dudes."

"For aught that ever I could read, / The course of true love never was a walk i' th' park."


"Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio. Crummy clown, bad material."

"Wanted: 1 horse. 10 bucks. Willing to negotiate. Call Rick ASAP."

"Anyone got a horse? Cause I really need one, like right now."

Claudius: How is't the clouds still hang on you? Hamlet: You suck! You're not my real dad!

"Holy crap, it's Yorick! Yorick died? When the frick did that happen?"

"And you, also, are among these conspirators? Oh, Brutus. Really?"

"My mistress' eyes are almost like the sun. Something like? Nearly like? Partly?"

"By the tickling of my nose, something evil this way blows."

"To be or not - I'm kinda leaning one way, but I'm a bit on the fence, you know?"

"Two loves I have, of comfort and despair, / And darned if I know what to do with either one."

"The game's a toe!"

"Darn it, Goneril just said what I was gonna say."

"There's something a bit off in the state of Denmark."