Assist In This Shakespearean Scavenger Hunt!

Jill writes in with a request I'd love to see my loyal readers help fulfill. She's part of a scavenger hunt team who is tasked with the following:

I must go to a fast food restaurant and express these things:
1) greet the attendant at the drive-through
2) explain how hungry I am
3) tell and what I want to eat and how good it will make me feel.
I must speak as the Bard wrote. That is where I need you, kind sir. The more creative and funnier it is, the better. Feel free to go wild. I guess I would order a bucket of wings and thighs, mashed potatoes, and a diet coke. If there is an order that would make things easier, please feel free.

Sounds like fun!  Who wants to help her out?  They have until Sunday (the 18th?) to complete the task.