So, Shakespeare Maybe? #shakespearemaybe

Thank Cookie Monster for this one, folks - it was his parody of the mind virus known as "Call Me Maybe" that produced the following.  Bardfilm is on vacation, so hopefully I've done a reasonable job at filling the void while he's gone...

Hey, Coriolanus!
We know you're angry.
Your mother asked nice,
So spare Rome, maybe?

I know that we just got here,
But it's too early.
So let's get back together
After the hurly burly.

Hey there, Desdemona,
You have deceived me!
Iago said so.
And he's trustworthy.

Good evening Mr. Capulet.
My name is Romeo.
It's been a lovely party,
But now we must go.

Malvolio, dear?
I love your stockings.
So wear them for me?
I promise, no mocking.

Look, here comes Macbeth.
Now, introductions!
We'll call him Cawdor,
And he'll kill Duncan.

Listen, Earl of Gloucester
You've really irked me.
(Here comes the gross part)
Now you can't see.

Benedick and Beatrice!  Look,
Stop all the hating.
All your friends think
You should be dating.

Let's run away Lysander
Then we can marry!
What's the worst can happen?
They're only fairies.

Prince Hamlet, here's your gifts back.
(My father made me!)
So make this better
Before I go crazy.