Rosaline, The Movie (It does exist?!)

I wrote about this potential Shakespearean trainwreck of a movie last year, and it appears that nobody's yet put it out of its misery.  Now we're starting to get casting details.

Let's just jump right to the good stuff, since it's hidden in a comment on the original post.  Here is the Amazon summary of the book - the *debut* *electronic book* no less - that this movie is based upon.  This woman's got to have connections in high places.

"Rosie knows that she and Rob are destined to be together. They are best friends, next door neighbors, and the soon-to-be cutest couple in their senior class. Rosie has been waiting for years for Rob to kiss her--and when he finally does, it's perfect. But just before their relationship becomes completely official, Rosie's cousin Juliet moves back into town. Juliet, who used to be Rosie's best friend. Juliet, who now inexplicably hates her. Juliet, who is gorgeous, vindictive, and a little bit crazy...and who has set her sights on Rob. He doesn't even stand a chance.

Rosie is devastated over losing Rob to Juliet. This is not how the story was supposed to go. And when rumors start swirling about Juliet's instability, her neediness, and her threats of suicide, Rosie starts to fear not only for Rob's heart, but also for his life. Because Shakespeare may have gotten the story wrong, but we all still know how it ends."

Am I just getting old? Does that story sound appealing to today's teenagers?  It sounds like one of those wannabe trashy young adult novels that I used to see girls carrying around the high school hallways 20 years ago.  Sweet Valley High, was it?

I don't know what's the worst part of the story - that somebody's butchering Shakespeare in the name of a cheap high school soap opera, that somebody's paying good money to make a movie out of it, or that this woman whipped up an ebook (something that pretty much anybody with a computer can do, trust me on this one :) ) and somehow got a movie deal out of it on her very first try. 

Geeklet Montage!

This is probably one of those "you have to be there" stories but I'm enjoying the heck out of it.  I set up my kids with MicroShakespeare on their Kindle devices.  This includes a Shakespeare trivia game.  It's unfortunate that a number of the questions have incorrect answers (as discussed in my review, and responded to by the developer) but it's still a hoot.

So, you have to picture the scene.  I've got 2 little geeklets (the boy, at 5, doesn't quite have the reading skills yet to play properly) wandering around the house shouting out Shakespeare questions to me, usually simultaneously.  You ever see one of those sitcom episodes where the character dreams he's on a game show and you get that scene where it's just question and question being blasted at him, and he answers them all correctly?  That's my house this morning.

"When was the First Folio published?"

"Where do the words Curst be he that moves my bones appear?"

"How many sonnets did Shakespeare write?"

"What was the last play Shakespeare wrote before he died?"

"1623! His grave! 154! The Tempest!"

I'm loving it. :)

Oh, and the best part? The part that they don't even realize is happening?  That's the part where the 7yr old asks a question, and the 9yr old answers it instead of me.  They're learning!

Why did the Shakespearean Chicken Cross the Road (Guest Post)

It suddenly occurred to Bardfilm that he had never taken the elementary step of asking Shakespeare’s characters the simple (but telling) question “Why did the chicken cross the road?” That has now been rectified:

Why did the chicken cross the road, Falstaff?

You mean I missed one?

Henry V, why did the chicken cross the road?

Proclaim it through my host that any chicken which hath no stomach to this fight may depart. We would not die in that chicken’s company that fears his fellowship to die with us. We few. We happy few. We brood of chickens!

Why did the chicken cross the road, Tybalt?

I do not know. I hate the bird, as I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee.

Why did the chicken cross the road, Ophelia?

She . . . she made it? Then there’s hope! Hope! Hope! {Splash.}

Mark Antony, why did the chicken cross the road?

Because she was an honorable bird. So are they all—all honorable birds!

Why did the chicken cross the road, Hamlet’s Father’s Ghost?

Because she escaped me. My general policy, as you know, is to murder most fowl.

Macbeth, why did the chicken cross the road?

Is this a chicken that I see before me, the beak toward my hand?

Why did the chicken cross the road, Hamlet?

Well, it was going to cross the road, but halfway across it began to think, “If I cross this road now, while it is a-praying, won’t the road end up going to heaven?” so it turned around and headed straight back. It struck me as pretty reasonable.

King Lear, why did the chicken cross the road?

To die, insane, having lost everything.

Why did the chicken cross the road, Rosalind?

To get to the Forest of Arden! But to get there, she had to dress as a rooster.

Antigonus, why did the chicken cross the road?

She simply exited, pursued by a bear. Wouldn’t you?

Macduff, why did the chicken cross the road?

Did you say all?

No, just the one chicken, Macduff.

O hell-kite! All?

No—listen. It just a joke. One chicken, one road.

What, all my pretty chickens and their dam at one fell swoop?

Oh, nevermind.

Our thanks for this guest post to kj, the author of Bardfilm. Bardfilm is a blog that comments on films, plays, and other matters related to Shakespeare.