Shakespeare Wish List

[ I may, if I can find the time, put together a Buyer's Guide for Shakespeare Gifts. This is not that post. ]

I don't have any special Shakespeare things on my Christmas list this year. In the past i've gotten DVDs, books, action figures, pillows, a watch. My 6yr old in particular likes to think of Shakespeare as an adjective meaning "stuff Daddy likes" and for years has told me, on holidays, "We're getting you 16 Shakespeare things!" because she knows it will make me happy ;).

Don't tell my wife, but last night while watching Miracle on 34th Street my wife non-chalantly picked up her Netbook and logged on. "No fair!" I claim, having been busted for this behavior in the past, "Family time. Computers off."

"I just have to check the status of something," she says.

The 6yr old is sitting next to her, and reads over her shoulder. With a gasp she says "Hamlet!" and my wife immediately shushes her and tells her to watch the movie. I don't know if she knows that I heard that.

So, see, now I'm intrigued. I'd gather that means that I'm getting a Hamlet something for Christmas. But I have no idea what it could be. The only logical thing I can think of is Kenneth Brannagh's Hamlet on DVD, but that new release is Bluray, and we don't have Bluray (she knows this, at least I hope she knows this). Although I don't have that movie in my collection either way, so if she's getting me the older version that'll be nice, too. :)

By the way, this is not my request for people to tell me what other Hamlet products it could be, that'd take away the fun. She's not mentioned it to me at all, or even asked for ideas, so whatever it is she's thought of it entirely on her own, which is exactly how i like my Christmas presents. Some people do that whole "Pick out your own thing and I'll just wrap it up for you" nonsense, but I don't see it.

What Shakespeare stuff is on your list?

Don't forget, there's always Shakespeare Geek Merchandise! And I just lowered the price on my book, too!

Beware the Geeklet Uprising

Note, this post has no Shakespeare in it. But it's really the only forum I have to tell stories about how smart my kids are, and are becoming.

Story #1 : We're watching a Christmas movie, I'm building a fire in the fireplace. During a commercial my 6yr old - the *6* year old, normally the quiet one - asks me, "How do you make fire?"

Now, I've always had a policy of answering their questions as honestly as I can, and I can predict where this is going. I can answer it one of two ways. I pick the easy way. "Well," I tell her, "You start with a very small fire, like by lighting a match. Then you put things on that fire that burn really easily, like paper. Then you go to small wood, and then bigger wood, and each time you add stuff you get more fire until finally you have a big fire in the fire place."

"Yes," she says, "But how do you *make* fire? Where does that first fire come from?"

Visions of E=mc2, mass and energy flash through my brain, trying to figure out how to answer that far more interesting question (which, really, I knew was what she was asking). Luckily, though, the Christmas movie comes back on and she's no longer all that interested. She is 6, after all. Bullet dodged!

Story #2 : We are watching Miracle on 34th Street, which is an interesting experiment in a house where the children range from 4 to 8 and my wife's never seen it. So the burden is on me to determine whether this movie, which if you've not seen it is basically about a whole bunch of adults trying to convince a child that Santa Claus doesn't exist, is appropriate for my kids. Are they going to come away believing (which all of them do, by the way), or not?

The movie is a pleasant surprise and basically takes a stand on the message that "No matter what anybody tells you, you can choose to believe things for yourself." We've not yet finished it, so when the kids go to bed each night there's a million questions. Last night I tried to explain to my 8yr old the difference between "know" and "believe".

I pick up one of her stuffed animals and hide one hand behind it. "Do you know how many fingers I'm holding up?" I ask.

"No," she says.

"I'm holding up 1 finger," I tell her. "Now do you know that I'm holding up one finger, or do you believe that I'm holding up one finger?"

"I know you're holding up one finger."

I move the doll to reveal that I am, in fact, holding up 2 fingers. I put the doll back in front of my hand.

"Now," I said, "Do you believe I'm holding up 2 fingers, or do you know that I'm holding up 2 fingers?"

"I believe you're holding up 2 fingers," she says.

"No," I tell her, "You know I'm holding up 2 fingers because you just saw it."

"I know," she says, "But now that your hand is behind the doll again you could have changed how many you put up."

.... That was actually going to be my next point, and she beat me to it.

You know that scene in all the good science fiction movies where the creation begins to learn faster than the creator can control it, and eventually takes over the world? Yeah, I have moments like that all the time.

Richard III Starring ... Chicken Little?

One of the missions of this site was originally to spot and document Shakespeare references in the wild, no matter how trivial (as long as they were at least interesting and not cliche, that is). Here's one that may take the cake. In this week's podcast episode of This American Life, entitled "Poultry Slam" and focusing on the theme of, well, poultry, comes the story of Chicken Little ... The Opera.

That is correct. Someone's taken the "sky is falling" story and transformed it into an opera. In Italian, even. Oh, but did I mention that it is acted out by finger puppets? The opera actually tells the life story of Chicken Little, who at one point pulls a Sarah Bernhardt and games fame and notoriety for her Shakespeare. "Juliet? Cleopatra? Ophelia?" asks host Ira Glass.

No. Richard III.

"You haven't seen anything until you've seen a 4 inch high finger puppet of a duck calling for a horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse," says Ira. "In Italian." (Unfortunately this is radio, so we don't see it - and the snippets that we get do not apparently include the Richard III sequence.)

Fair Warning #1 : To get to this story, which I believe was Act 3 (in the middle), you have to sit through what is assuredly the most annoying story they've ever done about two college girls who talk to each other in this annoying duck voice. It was just awful. You know how families have "had to be there" jokes that everybody gets, even though the root of the joke goes back 20 years? Yeah, imagine some genius getting the idea to broadcast that joke to a national audience, and having to listen to it told by two girls who still think it's funny.

Fair Warning #2 : This may be the only time in your life that you'll hear Ira Glass say the words, "She waves it at the flaccid cock, but the cock does not rise." Remember, this is a show about chickens. ;)